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den 2020-02-02

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Fan också…! I fredags var jag hos psykologen och då sammanfattade jag mig själv att nu mår jag riktigt bra…. Men så idag kom efterkälken… Solen skiner från en klarblå himmel, inte ett moln och det är ca 5 grader varmt ute. Måste vara jätteskönt att komma ut på en lång och härlig promenad idag. Men jag kommer mig inte för… Nu är klockan tolv och snart går väl solen ner igen… Vilka hinder? Jag kan inte bestämma mig för vart jag ska gå… På söndagar är det jättemycket folk ute. Överallt. Men ungar och barnvagnar och cyklar och joggare och unga och gamla…. Överallt är det fullt och man kan liksom inte gå i sin egen takt. I så fall skulle jag behöva ta t-banan ut till förorten och knalla i skogen eller ute på Tyresta, eller i Hellas. ja, men gör det då! Ta på dig kläder och ta dig ut! ……. Men det är jättesvårt. Vill ha nån att gå med idag, men ingen är till mitt förfogande… Fan också att det blir så här ibland. Och så börjar jag fundera på män …. Vill jag? Vill jag inte? Nej, jag vill inte. Inte egentligen. Jag orkar inte med dem…. Orkar inte vända ut och in på mig själv för att passa nån… NEJ! Nej, det ska jag inte. Det vill jag inte. Ok, om det liksom bara kommer nån, in i mitt liv, som jag lite försiktigt lär känna först, då kanske det blir intressant. Men att börja med HP igen… Nej, jag orkar bara inte. Tidigare erfarenheter är ändå rätt så krassa… Visst, jag har mött män den vägen, men det har ju inte hållt sen… Jag orkar inte….

Nej, på med lite kläder och gå ut! Ja, men…. vart ska jag gå då? Klockan är ju inte så himla mycket… Skulle kunna gå ute på Djurgården förstås, eller Hellas? Fan så jobbigt att bestämma….Fint ute vid Hellas är det ju….. Ja, ok, jag stänger igen här och ser vad som händer….

Tjingeling….

… ett par immar senare…! Yippieeeee 😀 Jag kom mig ut! Ock jag gick den lite längre promenaden på 7.1 km. En timme och femtio minuter. Sköööönt! Mycket folk på ”hemvägen”, fast det gick bra ändå. Bra där! Nu kan jag äta lite, ta ett litet bad och sen se ngt på tv:n, med godare samvete. 😉 I morgon bitti är det badminton och sen får jag se vad jag jag gör. Inget inbokat just nu.

Tjingeling! 🙂

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