tantfunderingar.se

Tankar och funderingar i vardagen

Fortfarande time out med C…

Av

den 2017-07-06

i Uncategorized

OK, jag har förstått att jag gått lite ”hårt fram”. Citationstecken för  att jag nog fortfarande tycker att jag har rätt. Men jag förstår att jag sårat henne p.g.a. det sätt jag sagt det på. Och det är ju mitt problem! HUR jag säger saker…  Det har jag jobbat med mig själv med i många år nu. Suck! Varför är det så svårt? Hur man säger en sak är jätteviktigt. Personer hör inte vad du säger, utan hur. Om du säger det i rätt tonfall och med rätt framtoning – då hör de också VAD du säger. Suck igen… Att jag inte kan lära mig…? Hon tycker jag är elak. Hon blir jättesårad och ledsen. För att jag vill att hon ska flytta hemifrån… När gör hon det? Men det är inte min sak!! Det är hennes sak. Jag har inte med det att göra. Och det är det som är så svårt…  Att inte lägga mig i. Jag skulle själv bli galen om mina föräldrar la sig i mitt sätt att leva! Jag inser ju det! Men samtidigt är så himla svårt att stå bredvid och se på, när man verkligen önskar henne något annat… Och vad som än händer nu, om och när vi kan prata med varandra igen, så kommer det aldrig bli ”som förr” igen. Såklart. Men vad menar jag med det då? Livet rullar ju på och det händer saker hela tiden, förändras och går både framåt och bakåt. Det är väl klart att det aldrig kan bli som förut igen! Det kan inget. Hur man än önskar. Och det är väl bra. Jag gillar förändringar. Det är bra med dem. Fast ibland är dom lite krångliga! 😉 Som nu, med C….  Och jag undrar hur hon känner det nu? Mår hon bra? Eller tänker hon på det här och mår dåligt? Vill hon höra av sig till mig, eller känner hon bara en lättnad? Hur kan jag hjälpa henne? Ska jag skriva några rader, eller inte…? Suck, för 3:e gången…  Nej – man skulle lära sig retorik! Det skulle jag verkligen behöva! Tack och hej – leverpastej 😉

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